Like a porcupine fucking a basketball, Samurai Cop must be seen to be believed. From the editing to acting, it's a pastiche of all varieties of cinematic incompetency. Little wonder it rendered lead Matt Hannon's career stillborn.

The film oozes sexual innuendo from front to back. No situation is too bizarre for some sort of ribald exchange. Often these come out of nowhere. As in this case, where a nurse - apparently finding it impossible to resist Hannon's smokey eyes and cascading hair - engages in some wildly unprofessional crotch grabbing. I smell a lawsuit.